Thems the Rules

There are a few traditions in my circle of friends, last to be blind pays for the taxi, all new members are to be taunted and ridiculed with out compassion, sexual or racial consent for two weeks and of course NO tag backs off a double play at anytime EVER!!!

But no greater commandment given unto us than thou shalt not mingle with thine other gender on thow Thursday night... for Thursday was poker night. Beer, cigars, gambling, boob talk the whole kitten kaboodle at least for the guys that is. We have never really known what the girls get up to, we can only assume the obvious that their nights consist of intense political and sociological tea party's and high action pillow fighting in there underwear. Although we have no evidence of this all signs of common sense and relative thinking point to no other possible conclusion.

Whatever the case come Thursday we split, all contacts with the opposite sex are to be crushed up , mixed with a combination of fruit, yogurt, milk and ice cream, Blended into a delicious tropical smoothie and disposed of accordingly! no buts, thems the rules

Now these nights are held in random locations thus to prevent any assault from the enemy, kind of a default setting to the protection of our rights as men. Each of us sworn to secrecy under penalty of kitchen wench detail, one night in particular was held at kev's house, now we normally kick of at 9:00 so as 9:15 rolled along and the chips and cards had not been dealt some of the guys seemed to be getting a little rowdy I on the other hand was not really paying attention for I have spent the better half of our guy nights trying to seduce Kev into at least experimenting with cigars. The guy’s a former athlete so he's all your body is a temple and quite stubborn in the matter I might add and so over the time that I’ve known him its become a personnel goal for some of us to save Kev from being such a bitch.

So as I was subtly Suggesting to Kev that perhaps he might feel a little more comfortable at the girls softcore tea party nights the phone rang to which Kev answered but not before subtly back handing me upside the back of the head. So who was that? to which he answered "the wife". Silence struck the room with all the cautiousness of a marching band. w..w..why would she be calling? a question to which the answer I must admit I knew, I think in a way we all knew. I think all men know when the moment make itself known.

Kev turned his head and struck a pose in a true days of our lives fashion, one eyebrow cocked. "because their coming!"… camera zooms in on his face! then zooms out from a close up of us! then zooms back in on Kevs face and holds for about three seconds to long, annnnd cut! end scene, go to commercial.

us
but....but its Thursday and the rules! what about the rules man, did you even think about the rules! I don’t think your thinking about the rules!
kev
I know about the rules o.k, I was there when they were forged.
us
This cannot happen
kev
well you do something then, I ain't sleeping on the couch tonight
me
Bitch, smoke the dam cigar!!

I am no coward but there was wisdom in his words, for we all knew the repercussions of standing in between these girls and there intentions. As strong a man as you may think you are, you do not want to unleash this upon your world! no sir these girls do not play by the general rules of engagement hair pulling, slapping, biting, scratching are all part of the repertoire, they may look pretty and petite but make no mistake there will be no hesitation as to removing your head from your shoulders

As the numerous theories and ideas of how to stop this from happening were being forwarded the sound of cars pulling up had the same impact as that of gun shots and with giggles and screams burst through the door to find us stunned like squirrels in the high beam hypnotised by the beauty yet slightly aware of the events to come, however it didn't stop us from attempting to act casual and play it cool.
me
hey yah guys fancy seeing you here?
Angela
oh I know we just decided it might be fun to play poker with you guys tonight
me
oh yeah that would be fun wouldn't it guys mmhhmm but you see we don't have enough chips and we'd be here all night with this many people, its a shame its a.. a dam shame.
Angela
What’s the matter baby gotta be home to mommy before bedtime or you just to scared to lose to girls.
me
yes mummy will be very upset but its Thursday and we have rules, all of us do and who are we to break them. It…it just wouldn't be lawful besides its poker
Angela
what the hell are you babbling about? I know the rules, wait what do you mean its poker are you trying to say woman are.....blah blah blah........you jerk ......blah blah.......sexist pig....Blah.... i can be twice the man you are......Blah......why don't you go fu...
me
I'm out

and with that I retreated to the fridge to drink my stupidity away and think about what I'd done. all eyes shot to Kev he was not prepared and obviously disturbed by being in the whole situation.
Kev
Baby I love you but how would you like it if we invited ourselves to whatever you girls were doing on a Thursday. you wouldn't like it
Angela
of course we wouldn't mind kevin don't be ridiculous

evidently kicking down their door in our underwear, pillows blazing is now a perfectly acceptable practice knock.....knock.....knock hey girls we just decided it would be fun.

At the risk of boring you I wont continue to describe every conversation from that night but I Will say we yelled, we laughed and we cried, there was a cheeky leprechaun and Kev never tried the cigar.

Needless to say the girls got there way guys night was cancelled and we ended up going out instead. All in all it wasn't a bad night, it never really is. They never told us why they decided to reign upon our guys night and our manhood but I guess the lesson I learnt is guys care much more about guys night then girls care about girls night or girls care about guys night or girls care about basically anything we got going on.

Not sure why but I'm a male so I guess I'm not suppose to know. There were plans for revenge but by the next week we lacked motivation although due to increasing paranoia and the very possibility that it could happen again security has kicked up a notch. all poker nights are held in a cave behind a book case, down the poles in between the batmobile and the big ass t.v screen