o.k so heres the thing, working in the city has its advantages the opportunity's, the scenery, the bars, the music its all good however being an outsider from....you know....out there beyond the borders! There is one little in convenience in the transitional period known only as the city rail experience. Don't get me wrong beats driving and in all fairness it could go either way good or bad its all a fricken lottery. You by your ticket every time and when it just doesn't happen for you, you curse the gods and all that is evil in this world only to stand right back in line the next day with the expectation that this time would be different.
i'll see if i can set the mood for you
I'm sitting there awaiting the string of events to come from that hour trip into the promised lands, at each stop awaiting the new occupants almost trying to will the train that little bit further down the station to benefit the whole train experience. Oh she's pretty, c'mon u can make it, little bit more, that's it, that's i.....arggh DAM IT or oh God no! please no, not the school kids, have you no mercy stop stop ssttooppp!! if you are familiar with the whole city rail expierence you may relate
By this point between the haunting sounds of school children cackling and screaming as 15 year olds do best and the fact that there is not one creature that even remotely resembles that of an attractive human being within eye sight. I decided you know what! I can deal with it! the music in my ears is kicking and i can shut my eyes and all will be well. Right, ha wrong not today for today I repay my debt to society and take one for the team, today the world says you know what Martinez Fuck you!
As I sat there staring out the window trying to make the best out of the situation I couldn't help but look as the train rolled up to the next station and suddenly this over whelming feeling of insecurity began to arise inside of me that in some way, some how something was about to go down. Fear got the best of me in that moment and i just couldn't bare to look. Eyes held shut I feel the seat shifting from the weight of someone or something sitting down, When suddenly it hit me, Like a slap in the face. This horrible, sick nay evil individual
stunk
Yeah that's right! stunk, I guess maybe your a little disappointed huh, probably expecting a man with no head or some nightmare on elm st kinda shit from the build up and maybe your right, maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing but you know what, you weren't there! you didn't have to endure it! you know not of the demonic presence that filled that carriage on that dreadful morning! so bite me and for the record id take a run at Mr Kruger or share a seat with a headless accountant over what this guy was representing any day of the week.
But more concerning then the smell is the mind numbing anomaly of how?? how at 7:00 in the morning could someone be in such a state of pure evil?? what could he have possibly done? How man, How?
Maybe he was on his way to the station when he bumped into a marathon runner in training in which a heated argument arouse with the runner pulling out his duelling glove and challenging him to a race to the top of death mountain and being a man of honour he had to except?
wow, must be a hell of runner...wait his shoes ain't scuffed at all, I bet he never even ran up death mountain, probably cant even run at all. I have half a mind to slap this mofo for posing as some kinda athlete, pphh thinks hes got the whole world fooled. Ha not me though, Im on to you.....PRICK!
wait!
Maybe he works at the cologne and deodorant store and figures why pay for the merchandise when he can just apply the cologne compliments of the house when he gets to work?
I cant believe this guy, what a tight ass I gotta suffer so he saves himself some money man that's just selfish and stealing as well what a thief,what a selfish tight ass smelly thief.......PRICK!
oh hang on!
There is water restrictions and deodorant can cause damage to the ozone, cant it? maybe hes trying to save the planet, that's decent of him, I mean not driving to work, low on the water usage and ozone friendly like an environmentalist or something......PRICK
To be honest I really don't know what I'm suppose to do in this situation. There is no training for this, they don't teach you this stuff in school, I mean I always carry some back up cologne in my suitcase but i cant just spray it on him without his consent, besides I'm 99% sure his powers are far superior to that of este lauder's for men.
Damn it man you have to try something! So I did. I did what any self respecting citizen would do, in a move of desperation i quickly jump forward into my suitcase and began to spray myself saying loud enough
geez I nearly forgot. a man's gotta take care of his mojo you know
as the guy gives me a forced smile and nod i return with a
this is good stuff though, here you should try some, the ladies will love you.
BOOYAH I'm in, i did it, i actually found away t........No thank you. DAM IT DAM DAM SON OF A BITCH DAM IT TO HELL. I sank in to my seat, Bitter, crushed and defeated! all that was left was stop breathing and welcome the sweet relief of the light at the end of the tunnel.
As I began to turn purple, I begin to notice the faces of those around me, devastated but with a hint of respect as if to say: you know what kid! you crashed and burned but you did your best and there is no shame in it. It was at that second I had but a brief moment of relief for i did not stand alone, these were my brethren my brothers and sisters in arms, it was us verses him and though we were crushed in battle, in the war victory is all but ours for we were only tortured and mutilated for that trip but he will smell till the end of his days and that's gotta count for something.
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