Magic Beans

Collapsed over the bar counter in a massive heap the giant lay sobbing over his failed marriage. It was late and the bartender knew he should have cut him off earlier but hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it, but the hours had gone bye and he had to close up.

Impressively he had manage to be quite stealthy in swiping another bottle of wine from behind the counter when the bartenders back was turned, mentally congratulating himself on his stealth like abilities as he shuffled out the door mumbling in coherent sentences laced with hurt and blasphemies.

A long, detoured path the giant walked until he could finally see the lights of his home fumbling around for his keys as he came closer, the giant tripped on a hard log of some sort sending him quite majestically through the air before crash landing into the cloudy surface below. Crawling back across the ground to find his unfinished bottle of wine, he found himself baffled that he had never noticed this rather large root emerging from the ground like the top of a large vine or something. Convinced it was the evidence of foul play by that heartless wench who ripped his heart out he staggered to his feet, screaming “you bitch” whilst hurling the bottle into the abyss, instantly feeling regret and wishing he had just a little more time with his wine.

Slowly he made his way through the house and finally to his room. The harp had mentioned something to him as he walked past but the giant was still in mourning over his wine and cared so very, very little about anything else but bed. Face down the giant dropped in his bed and there he lay until morning light.

The sun beamed in through the window and the giant was woken by his soul rejecting everything the sun stood for, head throbbing the giant made his way back through the house to find some aspirin bypassing the harps room as he is always greeted with a lecture from that self righteous stringed instrument after a big night. Downing the extra strength pain killers, he fetched from the cabinet a box of goose food and went about delivering the gooses breakfast.

Confused that his beloved goose was not in his room or his pond the giant sought to consult with his harp to see if she knew where the goose had gone. Horror swept over the giants face as he opened the door to see his harp also missing. Consumed by rage the giant raced to the telephone.

“you heartless bitch”

“oh it’s you hello”

“its not enough you slept with someone else but you think you can just come in here and take whatever you want, well guess what! pre nup baby, you signed it”

“look David I have no idea what your talking about”

“and I don’t even know why you took my harp, the harp doesn’t even like you”

“Listen I didn’t take your stupid….wait, what? What did she say?”

“who?”

“the harp!”

“what?”

“what did the harp say about me?”

“oh, does it really matter?”

“that bitch!”

At that moment the giant looked from his window to see what looked like his harp and his goose both of them mouths gagged, slowly levitating slightly of the ground, away from the house. Dropping the phone the giant rushed outside to see a tiny man darting across his yard carrying his friends like a waiter carrying two massive piles of plates in each hand.

“hey” the giant yelled as he followed in pursuit, still feeling the after affects of last night. Baffled at the great strength and speed of this creature for the size of his body he watched as he ducked underneath what looked like a tree root. Thinking to have him cornered the giant began to reason with him.

”look, give me back my harp and my goose and I wont call the cops”

but after no answer, he cautiously crept closer to see that it was not a root but the top of a very tall tree, again impressed by the skill of this burglar as it climbed down this gigantic tree whilst both hands, still keeping the goose and harp captive he attempted to climb down after him only to be boldly reminded by his lack of co ordination that he was still indeed a little drunk.

Slowly, he mounted the mighty fern and one foot at a time began to climb down after him, never looking down, just eyes closed, repeating “just one at a time, just one at a time” like a mantra in his head.

Eventually the giant muscled up the courage to look to see the bottom but as he did he found that he could neither see the ground nor the thief anymore, but as he began to pick up the pace he began to feel a faint vibration in the tree, at first it was nothing almost un noticeable but it slowly grew greater and greater as this unstable vine began to shake with every vibration. Realizing what was happening the giant looked up and found that he couldn’t see the top either, frantically the giant began to rush down the tree losing his footing several times whilst screaming nay begging the creature to stop, but the vibrations just got greater and greater as the pleading giant wailed in despiration.

Finally a loud crack gave way and the stalk began to tip, the giant paused with fear clenching the branch tightly as it began to fall. He began to see the faces of all the people he’d known and loved as the rushing sound of the wind echoed through his ears, he thought of his ex wife and his goose that he had raised from birth, he smiled as he remember the long nights up talking to his harp, just shooting the breeze and having a good time He remembered everything and was reminded that he had lost them all, his wife, his best friend even his pet were gone everything he had ever loved now just a memory, his happiest of memories now his most painfull replay in his head until finally he could remember no more.

The giant hit the ground with a mighty thud as the creature, with a conquering smirk tossed aside the cutting object, a broken shard from what seemed to be from a gigantic sized wine bottle. He picked up the goose and the harp, mouths still gagged and walked back to his home and lived happily ever after.