Letter of Redemption

To whom it may concern:

I am writing to you on this day because I feel compelled to answer to the rumours that may or may not have been brought to your attention. In this effort, hopefully I may put to rest any resentment or remorse to those that feel wronged in anyway, shape or form.

In the subject of Ryan, I’m afraid I must confirm that he is indeed bad ass! furthermore Taylor has proved much less aggravating then her predecessor. I also feel it necessary to note that Seth is in fact the man and Hercules seems only fitting as the father of said bad ass. It is true, if given the chance I would definitely do Taylor over Summer and have since noticed that every problem that resulted in death, injury or emotional pain can be pointed squarely at one person, a fact that to this day still keeps me up at night, although she did spend half a season with the blond girl which in turn cancels all the bad stuff out, another fact that keeps me up at night but for entirely different reasons.


I understand the consequences of this statement, however this is not my main concern in this matter. I am fully aware that my recent enthusiasm does not reflect the opinions and beliefs of my former self, so much so, the hypocrisy in its self may be too much for you to bear. Although at that time the words that were spoken most definitely outlined my previous stance in the matter, I feel obligated to express that though it was not an act of deceit at the time, I do not believe the statements declared both shamelessly and publicly to be of relevance anymore.

And so, a recant is in order. Understand, to my knowledge there was no documentation of said events. However foul play is still foul play, you have been wronged in my premature, inaccurate judgement and I am man enough to make things right.


J-mac, I’m sorry I lied,

There were not free showbags of tampons and lip balm at the 2nd season launch.


Dave, I apologise,

George Michael did not base his screen play on the events between you two, I didn’t even know George Michael had a screenplay!! And am aware if he does the possibility of it actually being about you is quite impossible.

Teenagers in JB HiFi:

Im pretty sure the theme song “California” is actually about the state California, a group of people going there, and all being very happy about it!! rather than a subliminal message about the climax in a Californication manfest, im not even sure that’s a word let alone an act. I know I referred to the red hot chilli peppers but be assured there is no connection between the two songs.


Again J-mac I’m sorry,

I did not see a new fruit, vodka and kahlua beverage called the orange county being handed out for advertisement at the front door of the Toolbox. Truth be told I have never been east of George st, let alone down Kings cross.


Guy waiting in line at the tattoo parlour,

I was not undecided over whether the I heart R.A tattoo on the producers bicep, stood for I heart Ryan Atwood, I heart Ryans Ass or Iceland hearts Ryans Assets. He doesn’t have a tattoo, I don’t have a tattoo, I just wanted some gummi bears.


The bathrooms, toilets and rest room walls of N.S.W (and parts in Europe).

J-mac is not the Lord, King, Mayor, General, Matradee, Ambassador, Zoo Keeper or Pool Cleaner of Homotown, there is no Homotown! nor anyone who occupies it.


If I have missed anything let it be known here and now that I whole heartedly apologise for that too and in no way find the contents or actions of whatever was said or done amusing from any perspective what so ever.

Before you today stands a corrected man bemused to the fact that I could have ever protested anything with Lesbians, cage matches and Kevin Sorbo in it. I openly confess that I have turned from my wicked ways and am now on the path of a higher knowledge and though my hypocrisy knows no bounds, I will seek redemption from this day forth.

Consider this my formal apology.

Forgive me, I knew not what I did.

Martinez




I heart Taylor 4ever