Team Ramrod

A wise man once said to me, a good friend will bail you out of jail but a great friend will be sitting in the cell next to you announcing “that was fucking hilarious”. Actually, this guy wasn’t so much a wise man as much as he was just man, in fact his only claims to fame was not his intelligence but his ability to dot the I’s in the snow and creating multiple objects, shapes and animals with his…. You know what! he could dot the I’s in the snow, nothing else.

I found myself reflecting on these words as reality hit me. This is the code, the great divider between BFF and just F. Those lucky enough to have it are truly blessed whilst those who don’t are considered alone and in the dark. In some cases there are some whom have it in spades and are considered to be bounding around naked, in the orchard above the dark hole where those who don’t are kept. Eating grapes from the vine and chuckling at the others misfortune, announcing at great volume that the view is much better from up here.

And that it is, except for today, today the world seems a little darker as one of my hypothetical fellow prisonees aka orchard dwellers, is heading off for greener pastures in the land of berets, baggett’s and Doc Holiday moustaches.

It would seem my friend the competitions will die with your absence as I know not a worthy adversary in any other. To put a spin on things I do look forward to the hours of extra time coming my way as it is well known that anything with the slightest hint of opposition must be kept away from us at all costs, as nothing else even comes close to imminent until we can claim a winner.

For those in the cheap seats, I’m not just talking about the obvious stuff here, although many a night a drunkin game of ping pong has resulted in playing through till the sun comes up hours after everybody has called it in “alright, alright best out of 1,987,555” , Im talking bout the off chance that one leaps over a fence to get somewhere and the next few hours consists of brave new ways of leaping fences until one is either crowed champion or pronounced dead.

“o.k one foot take off from behind the bush, over the fence, no hands, eyes closed and the overhanging tree branch must tip off your hat….GO!”

Perhaps now that your going I can be a little more productive with my free time. maybe I’ll chase butterflies or something. I did however take on board your suggestions and am sorry to say that sweeping ice is not something I see myself doing in the near future, Broomball is not a sport man! it’s a chore, a god damn household chore, but judge not lest yee be judged, I accept you for who you are and so as a statement of my support in your choice of , ahem “sports” I decided to do a little research on the old google and found a new sport that’s way up your alley man, I mean its not that big yet but baby, we could take it to the top!






Check it, Extreme Ironing man, think about it, you get all the awesomeness that being extreme has to offer, plus the bonus of having a nice crease free shirt when your finished, its win win.

And so as I ponder the future, I cant help but think about the past. I guess it only seemed logical to join forces as it would only be a matter of time before one of us decided to finally bury that hatchet deep into the others skull, not out of hate or spite, but for supreme unchallengeable power. In hindsight, apart from the manslaughter charges, that would have proved to be a mistake. For then Team Ramrod would never have been and the world would go on believing that there wasn’t something out there who could beat them in absolutely everything.

Mercifully, those that have risen against us have been playfully patronised due to their positions, unfortunately resorting to a drastic name change being the only awesome thing left of their team. You know who you are, Team awesome sucks and I say that out of love, love and an awareness of suckyness and those renowned for bringing the suck.

Apart we were strong but together we were invincible, Id like to take some part of the credit but that would be misleading for though there are fields of my own expertise, the truth is it is you who carries the torch even though I will never ever say it again and will be forced to delete this line if it is ever quoted.

And so, the Gods felt threatened and Team Ramrod has been separated into opposite sides of the world, A sad, sad day indeed my friend for we are now doomed to move out of the golden years and into a world without mindless competitions, without pointless arguments and impossible bets, a world without complete and utter desecration and humiliation, A world without RamRod.

Gods speed Superman, You will be missed